As many of you know, one Ms Aitken and I have a pact. At the age of 92, if both still single we plan to marry. Here is a short illustrated history of our wedding and life together.
This is us as 2 single eligable elderly pensioners. Clearly we are dissatisfied with both the state of the residents weekly newsletter (believing it was never as good as when we edited it in 2050s) and how music has become monotonus, constructed marketing, unlike when we were young. We are sitting listening to a classic compilation on our wireless "Sensational Summer, the beast of Angus FM" with such hits as Holly Valance's Naughty Girl and Remix to Igniton... even after all these years it still gets us up for a boggie, if only someone would elxplain to us what "Putting the key in" really meant. Angus still on his Learner's permit, sarah still on a strict Lentil diet to keep her regular.
I propose to Sarah in our Hotel for Old People, over our happy hour serving of Mylanta and happy pills. A small dog plays the Elton John Classic "Tiny Dancer" on the piano, I had requested Tony Danza to play it for us, but instead got a Miniture Dachshund.
Here is us on our wedding day, we look so happy. Sarah had a perm, which brough her up to the same height as me.
Here is the man that gave sarah away. He is waving her goodbye.
We went on our honeymoon to mexico. We were so happy. We ate heaps. Like the early days of our relationship Sarah just ate my food. We put on alot of weight. It seems by this stage of our life our metabolisim had slowed down quite alot. Neither of us were expecting quite the impact it was having on our relationship. You will also note here how I have upgraded my lenses. Sarah gave them to me as a wedding gift. She decided that I needed to get new ones because my titanium transitions were daggy and too "old school" and these ones were much more in line with her new frames. She said it would unite us as a couple.
We returned after our honeymoon for a few years of blissful marriage. At one point I grew a beard. Having gone through puberty in my late 40s, I grew it to prove that I could, once and for all, finally grow facial hair.
After having been through puberty about 30 years too late, I hit my midlife crisis at the age of 95. I had a series of affairs with younger women. (Sorry you had to find out this way Sarah). Here is me, aged 95 with a much younger woman.
But after a few years of unfulfilling sexual antics and an increasingly worse bowel-related heart condition. I began to remember the good-old days with my dear sarah. I used to keep this photo in my wallet of us when we worked as gold miners at the tourist exhibit on Mt Panorama.
I yearned for her and returned back to the home. Lucky for me, she had been slipping in and out of comas for 6 years in between cursing the young children who came to collect their cricket ball from our front porch. To my suprise she had no idea that I had even gone, she thought that I was just doing the laundry.
